Natural Disaster

On Friday February 5th, disaster struck our home.  The first of its kind, I felt particularly unprepared.  Like any normal day, I had undressed Alex in preparation for a bath, and being the somewhat absent minded person that I am, I didn't begin looking for her lotion until after she was in the buff.  She was delighted with this rare occurance of being left in the nude and quickly grabbed a book and climbed into the rocking chair for a quick read.  Cute.  Sure, but then I noticed it.  A small ring of wet growing steadily larger upon the seat where she sat.  Cute turned to Gross, but I thought as I ran to get some carpet cleaner, it's better than throw up.

I came back upstairs to find Alex hiding behind the chair.  Ohh, she must think she is in trouble.  Poor thing, but I still needed a rag so I stopped at the hall closet.  Those of you who have children and experienced similar disasters may have guessed by now that this was no ordinary hiding place, and that there were no thoughts of remorse behind her decision for choosing this unusual location.  I give you leave to chuckle at my ignorance, but please a little sympathy as well.

My rag searching was interrupted by sudden wails from the next room.  I rushed in to find my daughter with pleading outstretched hands full of POOP!  She had POOPED ON THE FLOOR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  And not just pooped and walked away, but became curious about this fascinating thing that had just come out of her body, picked it up, decided it was gross and tried to wipe it off on her bare stomach, stepped in it in her haste to get out from behind the chair, and came running for the door leaving tiny poop footprints.

It was time for action.  I grabbed the distressed child and began the decontamination process.  Once again poop free, I placed her on the floor instructing her to stand there while I pick up the large poop pieces before we got in the bath.  I bent over the chair, grabbed the two main pieces of poop and looked up to find that she had peed where she stood.  (she was obedient though, she hadn't moved) 

Lest you think by the length of this post that this was a large span of time, I should inform you that this all took place in less than 3 minutes.  3 minutes, 3 separate bodily functions all deposited on 3 different pieces of furniture.

I could think of no words, which is probably good because if I had at least one may have had four letters, but my face must have been worse because Alex had a very reverent bath time.  One bath, 45 minutes of scrubbing, and an entire bottle of carpet cleaner and cleanliness was restored.  I threw the rag away.
I do apologize that there are no pictures, but let's face it.  You didn't really want to see that.  Here is a picture of a happier time taken sometime after the incident, proof that my child is still alive.